Overwhelming. Oh, how I missed that feeling. His presence is like standing at the doorway of a flood gate. Can you stand? I cant, so I kneel. Can I really kneel? I can’t, so I prostrate myself in the spirit, to be washed away in His presence.
“Oh, for grace to trust Him more.” Trust. A dimension I know very little about, or this is what I am finding out. It’s like a father who chooses to teach his son to swim by throwing him in the deep. Though the father is there with the son the whole time, the father can’t make the decision for the son to start moving his arms. This method of teaching is largely effective simply because the water is deep. Had the son been thrown into shallow water, he could simply stand up, not needing to learn how to swim. The deep however, is a place where standing on my own two feet plants me on the sea floor of the ocean.
I’ve been thrown into the shallow so many times that learning to swim wasn’t necessary. I’ve stood up so many times, that swimming was more like a, “nice to know” kinda thing. But now, I’m trying to stand again, only to find that I’m sinking; the depth of the water has changed on me.
I know I have a choice. I can continue trying to stand, or I can learn to swim. The answer seems obvious, I know, but apparently, it’s not so obvious in everyday life. How? Well, continuing to stand can have the illusion of perseverance in what I believe, continuing to stand makes it look like I know what I am doing all along because my method is so, “consistent.” Continuing to stand makes me look like a courageous explorer in “searching out the deep”, when in fact I am actually drowning.
Three beautiful words: Perseverance, Consistency and Courage. All wonderful attributes, collectively defining our disposition when we believe in something; clearly defining what it means to trust. But who am I trusting in? Do I trust in what I’ve always done, or do I trust in methods I know little or nothing about? If thrown into the deep, I’m pretty sure that everyone would immediately starting trying to swim, forgetting that they were able to stand in the shallow. Why then, do we choose to suffer the pain of using old ineffective methods when the troubling waters in our lives have become deep? It makes more sense to swim, than to drown in grief. It makes more sense to trust our father that he would not put us in a situation that we could not handle. It makes more sense to know, that though we feel alone, He is never out of reach.
It just makes more sense.
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