Just believe

I had to raise myself up in spite of what my body was telling me.

I was down, but I wasn’t out for the count. It hurt. It was painful to muster “Jesus” on my lips while my head was throbbing like one of those toys where the ears pop out from the sides when you squeeze its body. At first I was so weak the song could only be sung in my mind. Then I was able to open my mouth and move my lips but nothing came out. Then I was able to, in something less than a whisper, sing “Jesus”. Then I was able to sing with enough volume where I could hear and understand myself. I did this a few times, head and heart pounding, body aching and shaking, but I couldn’t let the words fall away from my lips. I continued, “Risen and Anointed One, Jesus. Your name is like honey on my lips, Your Spirit’s like water to my soul, Your word is a lamp unto my feet. Jesus I love You. I love You. Jesus.” I just kept repeating the song over and over while in the back of my mind I was telling satan He lost and that he could not defeat me because greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world.

Then I heard something from within me say, “Get up! Do you really want to make him mad? Get up and praise!” So I crawled off of the couch and my head and heart began to pound faster, but I began singing louder. I raised my hands and sang even though I felt like I was going to throw up; literally splatter the floor kinda feeling. I started walking around and singing, still not entirely sure what was happening, except I knew that after a few moments had passed, I was feeling so much better-so much stronger. I began repeating, “When I am weak, He makes me strong.”

What an attack! In broad daylight! But I actually feel good enough to sit at my laptop and write! Just minutes ago I felt as though death was knocking at the front door! How wild is that? What just changed? What just happened? I was rejuvenated. I still feel what’s left of a headache, but how was I able to open the blinds to radiant sunlight, then go a step further and walk outside onto the balcony into the light, and not feel like my head was exploding? What in the world just happened? It’s as if this pain has no power over me! It’s there, but it isn’t keeping me down and it sure isn’t putting me out for the count. A few minutes ago I couldn’t even move without feeling intense pain, now I’m sitting up, with the light on, on my laptop tying away at this journal entry.

I’ll tell you; it’s good to know that Jesus is still in the miracle working business. And all it took was for me to believe it enough to sing. How can I not share my witness of His power?

Finding Direction

Was it really that simple? Is that all it took?

The past week has been a really confusing one for me. Talk about lost in the wilderness! It wasn’t so much that my world was falling apart, it was just really disoriented all of a sudden. At our Wednesday night Bible study, the congregation prayed that I would be strengthened on my journey through this dark and dry wilderness, and I think I have seen the light of day today. Actually, even two or three days ago I received direction as to what to do concerning the youth of LCCI. I was directed to move forward in teaching them on Wednesday nights. This was confirmed by a little prayer session on Saturday morning between Sandi, Pastor and myself, when I heard all the prayers for the youth to be drawn closer to You, and how they need to be brought in. Well, I now understand that when you bring them in, they need something to continuously develop them, and that’s where Your Holy Spirit comes into play through my life.

Also, last night I drove to PGA to a bookstore because they were the only store with a particular book in stock in the store and I really wanted to read some of it to consider if I needed to buy it or not. Well, in driving up to PGA and reading the first few pages in the book, I learned it wasn’t exactly what I was looking for, but instead, by reading another phrase in the book, it all made sense what I should be looking for instead. It was as if I drove out there by divine appointment, to pick up that book and learn of the direction I would be pursuing now. Strange how these things work out.

Today, I really felt freed of all this confusion. I now know that God wants me to glorify Him in my life, not just in my learning. I read in a book called “The Inner Life” where the writer says, “At the Day of Judgment, we shall not be asked what we have read, but what we have done.” He goes on to say that many doctors and masters of learning have died and they are but a memory, some not even attaining that in our minds. “If only the lives of these men had been as admirable as their learning, their study and reading would have been to good purpose!” the writer says.

This was exactly what I needed to hear! Only God would know this, and He had to guide me to this book a few weeks ago to bring this very thing to light today!

I have gained new direction in my life, not really concerned with the seemingly troublesome circumstances because I know God has it under control. But oh how wonderful it feels to know that You are in the will of God! How good it is to know that He knows my name and every thought! I didn’t realize that to gain clarity and direction all it took was listening while in the presence of God! In this case, I was just reading a book, but it was the fact that I opened up my heart to the voice of the Holy Spirit, and He used the words in this book to speak to me! Had I chosen to listen to music, He would have spoken to me though music. Had I decided to watch TV, He would have spoken to me though the TV. What is critical is that before I sat down, I said, “Holy Spirit speak to me.” I took this time to make myself consciously aware of the presence of God, and He showed up.

How simple was that? Too simple. One of the problems with “attaining to be learned” is that it’s the really simple things that evade us. We can miss what is right in front of our faces if we are not careful. Too much deep thought can drown us!

Thanks God, I really appreciate what You did for me today! I knew You wouldn’t leave me hangin’.

What is the Source of Your Comfort?

I was reading Luke 9:57-58 and the Holy Spirit began speaking to me (because I asked Him to.) I was trying to understand the scriptures:

57 Now it happened as they journeyed on the road that someone said to Him, “Lord, I will follow You wherever you go.”

58 And Jesus said to him, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head.”

At a glance, it appears that Jesus is making sure one of His disciples understands that foxes have holes to live in and birds have nests to rest in but the Son of Man goes from place to place. This is understandable, however the disciple is already aware of this fact, because of what verse 57 says: “Now it happened as they journeyed on the road.” Clearly the disciple knew that following Jesus was a life of travel and mission, so what is up with Jesus’ seemingly obvious answer?

Well, It dawned on me: Jesus wasn’t merely trying to relate the fact that a life of following Him resulted in travel and mission. Just read the previous verses and chapters and you will discover that Jesus was always from place to place with His disciples.

So then what was Jesus trying to relate? Well, first we have to understand that Jesus’ statements of foxes having their holes and birds having their nests to rest in, is a representation of what the world calls peace, serenity, safety and comfort. Foxes retreat to their self made holes and birds to their self made nests because it is a “comfort zone” they have constructed. Jesus was telling His disciple and trying to tell us that the world has its fabricated comfort zones, what it calls safety and comfort, and that a life of following His will would seem like an inconvenience if looked upon through the same eyes used to measure comfort in the world. This is why in verse 58 Jesus said, “…but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head.” Because when compared to what the world calls comfort a life of following Jesus isn’t based on the worlds “comfort zone” criteria.

The world says problems are bad things to have, and I need to do everything in my power to make sure my circumstances are at least tolerable, if not comparable to my favorite celebrity’s. But then we look at the life of one who was considered a man after God’s own heart, David, and he says just the opposite in the Psalm below:

Psalms 34:19 “Many are the afflictions of the righteous but the Lord delivers him out of them all.”

The world looks to other people, tangible goods, things money can buy and says, “Ahah, this is comfort! This is what a peaceful life is! This is what joy looks like!” (As if to say these invisible expressions can be spotted with our natural eyes.) But, in a short time, these things all pass away-not a good foundation for eternal wellbeing. However, when our lives are dedicated to following Jesus, our peace, joy and comfort come from the eternal Kingdom of God, which is the true source of life within us. This is why Jesus says in Luke 17:20-21 that the Kingdom of God does not come through observation; nor can you say, “See here! Or see there!” For indeed the kingdom of God is within you.

Romans 14:17 also gives us a further clarification of true contentment:
Romans 14:17 For the Kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.

So, in order to fully grasp what Jesus said in Luke 9:57-58, we have to understand that the world’s idea of comfort and wellbeing can’t be our idea; our idea of a life of comfort and wellbeing stems from the knowledge of the Kingdom of God living within us, which forever preserves us even when our worlds are turned upside down.

Foxes have their artificial comfort zones, and birds likewise, but as a follower of Jesus, our comfort comes from the Kingdom of God within us. It is this Kingdom that rejuvenates our faith to proclaim that, “Even if He slay me, I will still trust Him.” (Job 13:15.)