The Refining Fire

Date of original writing: Sunday, June 12, 2005

Psalms 16:8-11 reads:
I have set the Lord always before me.
Because he is at my right hand,
I will not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices.
My body also will rest secure,
Because you will not abandon me to the grave,
Nor will you let your Holy One see decay.
You have made known to me the path of life,
You will fill me with joy in your presence,
With eternal pleasures at your right hand.

I feel like I’m down to my last draw right now. I told God to take it away, take it all away. Meaning the desires of my flesh. I don’t want it anymore, it hurts too much. The pain is too great to bear. I told God to just give me His will for my life. That is all I want, because I know that is the way He wants me to go. As long as I am walking in His way, I know I will be happy and secure. Because he will never leave nor forsake me. The only abandonment is on my part, I abandon myself before the Lord. I am no more. Quincy is merely my name. Jesus lives in me. Totally. I am a new creature. My flesh wants what it wants, and it got what it wanted. Now as a result, it is causing me pain as I sit here on my couch and write this.

It is not necessary to feel this pain. God did not intend for us to go through such torment of the heart. He gave us free will. We choose to go down the wrong paths. We choose to sow bad seed and reap tainted fruit. Therefore we inflict pain on our own lives. We ourselves add salt to our very own wounds. How? When we continue to act outside of God’s will, but even so when we do not desire to seek God’s will in the first place. Neither is better than the other, for they both have the same destiny.

Why then do we continue to live in a sinful nature, even after we have been disciplined by God? Do we not understand that God hates sin? He hated it so much that He sent His Son to die on the cross of Calvary, as the ultimate sacrifice. It is because of Jesus’ death that we are forgiven today. We have already been forgiven for yesterday’s sins, today’s sins and yes, even the sins of tomorrow. “How is this?” you may ask. Well, it’s basically because of Jesus dying on the cross as the ULTIMATE sacrifice. You see, that sacrifice was so great, that the blood He shed now covers us to eternity. That is why we can be forgiven when we sin.

The Bible says God’s grace is new everyday. Everyday God has grace for us when we mess up. Does this mean you are off the hook to go out and sin and live your life the way your flesh wants? No. No way! When you sin, you are forgiven already. God simply asks you to wash your self clean. How do you do this? Well, what washes us? The Word. The Word of God. The Bible. God says to read the Word so that you will have a relationship with Him, that you will understand His precepts and sin no more. If every time we sin, and we just ask forgiveness from God, then that will be the usual occurrence. But when we are sorry for our sin, and we read the Word, that washes our heart clean, and gives us insight into what God wants us to do in our lives from then on.

In this time that I have, God is emptying me. Refining me. Preparing me to do His work. To follow His will, to carry out His perfect plan for my life. I pray to God for strength, wisdom, knowledge and understanding as I go. I pray for His protection over my life, that any hindrances will be removed. I thank God that He will never leave nor forsake me. He will never abandon me. The only abandonment is on my part toward myself. I totally commit my life and the work of my hands to God. I am a vessel. Flow through me, God. Flow. Let Your anointing on my life shine so radiantly, that people will get joy when I walk pass them! I thank you, God, for hearing my plea. For knowing me better than I know myself. For ordering my steps in your word. God, save this world.